Do you need to let go of something?
I thought that I would share this from Dr. Gary Chapman (Author of The 5 Love Languages®️) which I found really powerful.
"If you find yourself continuing to hold on to hurt and anger from a past incident, the result will manifest itself in the ongoing tension you experience with that individual. This tension will often contribute to a relational break that creates challenges in communicating, working together, and makes those around you feel uncomfortable.
Possibly the most important consequence are the costs to us internally. We ruminate about the offending event, which creates agitation, both emotionally and physically, within us. We hold conversations with others about that person. We avoid the other person. We become increasingly angry. We become obsessed about "getting even." All our interactions with the individuals are influenced by the hurtful event. The relationship is increasingly damaged. We create a negative and uncomfortable working or home environment. Ultimately, we become miserable.
If you feel this way, you are probably anxious to hear how you can start to let go of these things. But first, we need to understand that LETTING GO IS NOT:
Additionally, you should be aware that the process of letting go may or may not involve total healing of the damaged relationship. Reconciliation between two people is clearly possible, but a full restoration of the relationship to its prior state of health may be difficult (depending on the level of the offense that occurred).
So, how do you begin the process of letting something go, so you can begin to find internal peace and healing?
First, acknowledge that the other person is human. We all are, and everyone has something they need to work on. This can help put an offense or hurt into perspective.
Next, take the difficult step to surrender your right to get even. This is not absolution of any consequence that may arise from the wrongdoing, but rather, you are giving up your "right" to cause pain or additional punishment in response to what they did.
Lastly, begin to revise your feelings toward that person. This may take time, but it starts with beginning to change the statements you make to yourself about that person and/or situation. For example, "Yes, Jan said one or more hurtful things to me in front of others, but I want to move on and work to rebuild a positive relationship with her."
All of us at times make decisions and display behaviors that are inconsistent with "who we are" (or want to become) and are discordant with the values we say we hold. Relating to one another with grace allows each of us the opportunity to change and grow.
"Letting go" is the only way to maintain our sanity and our emotional health when we have had hurtful interactions with others. The results of letting go are worth the effort—especially when we consider the alternative. Few of us want to live our life with accumulating unresolved conflict and even trauma, and the physical and emotional toll they take on us. Living in freedom from past wounds is a tremendous gift."
Discover your love language at 5lovelanguages.com